Lessons Learned From Leaving My Job To Pursue My Lifelong Dream

When I left my job, I expected that first week to be challenging, so I made sure I had a plan. I had specific things that I wanted to accomplish, and I laid them all out day by day so that I had a productive start to this phase of my life. That plan worked great, and that first week was so smooth.

Then I froze.

I kept telling myself that I could do whatever I wanted, when I wanted, and I didn't need to plan ahead. But my brain completely rejected that concept. My brain could not handle the uncertainty of not planning. Which just goes to show that my brain and I don't always agree, and sometimes, I don't know my brain as well as I think I do.

My brain and I eventually reached a compromise where I give it minimal planning, and it doesn't freeze. It's a working arrangement.

That isn't the only surprise I've had on this journey, and it isn't the only thing I've learned about myself. These are some of the insights I've gained.

Time

When I was still working my corporate job, I imagined all of the time I'd have once I left. I looked ahead to all the days with endless time to do all the things I didn't have time for. I'd exercise every morning. I'd deep clean the house. I'd reorganize the garage.

Oh boy, was I wrong.

I was looking at it from the perspective of gaining all of the time that I had spent working. What I failed to take into account were all of the things I was leaving to be able to spend time on, like writing and marketing Deadly Decaf. Creating this blog. Exploring alternative storytelling mediums. Writing Deadly Decaf's sequel.

The reality is that I'm busier now than I was when I was working my corporate job. There's always a long list of things to do that I love doing and things that I want to do. And reorganizing the garage is never as attractive as any of those things that I love. I've learned that if I didn't make time for it before, I'm not going to make time for it now.

Routine

Much like thinking I'd have ample time to do things, I planned to set a daily routine for myself. Get up, meditate, yoga, day in, day out.

I should have known better. I've never had a daily routine in my life. I don't know why I thought that a lifetime of behavior would be changed by leaving my job. I'm less sure why I thought it would be a good idea. I can understand the benefits of a routine in the abstract, but like so many things, understanding and believing are very different.

Although I've made the decision to travel down a different path, I'm still myself, and that's not going to change.

Schedule

I've always known that I'm not a morning person, and I realized some time ago that my best hours are between 10 pm and 2 am. But the US runs on a clock that doesn't allow for individual differences. Corporate jobs are almost synonymous with working 9 to 5, and society's expectation is that everyone must conform, whether it suits them or not.

One of the best things I've done for myself since I left is to turn off my (many) alarm clocks and let my body dictate my schedule instead of imposing an artificial schedule on myself. For the first time, I regularly wake up when I'm ready to, not when something external like my alarm wakes me. That by itself has made a huge difference to my mood, my health, and my stress levels.

The Puritan roots in the US have left us with the notion that sleep is idleness and idleness is wicked. We've essentially turned sleep deprivation into a virtue, but the reality is that human beings don't function at our best when we don't get sufficient sleep. By listening to my body and leaning into the hours that are best for me, I'm not only far more productive than I was before, but I'm happier, too.

Persistence

I've written before that the choice to follow a dream isn't a one-time decision; it's a decision that's made every day, and that isn't always easy. There's a lot of self-doubt and second-guessing that can get in the way.

The decision to take a risk and pursue a dream is either courageous or foolish, depending on perspective. Only a small percentage of would-be writers are able to support themselves through writing, and so it takes a belief that out of all the would-be writers, you're going to be a part of that small percentage. If you succeed, you were courageous. If you fail, you were foolish. Either way, it can only be determined in hindsight. So the only thing to do is to keep at it and keep moving forward.

That doesn't make it easy. This isn't an easy path to take, but there's so much to it that makes it worthwhile. It takes working through the moments of doubt, and anyone considering this path should consider if they're willing to live with that uncertainty.

Success

Society projects a particular depiction of success: big house, lavish vacations, giant office, millions of social media followers. But like most things, one size does not fit all, and success can and does look different to different people.

When I left my corporate job, I knew that I was walking away from some of those typical aspects of success, and I was fine with that decision. I know myself well enough to know that I would be miserable with what many people consider success.

To be fair, my ideal life would make many people miserable.

I didn't expect success by my own definitions as quickly as it's arrived. Just publishing Deadly Decaf by itself has been a huge thrill, regardless of whatever happens next. The book exists, and I still find that exciting. I celebrate every copy sold and any time I hear from someone who's read it.

Being able to create that story and live on my own terms, for me, that's success.

What have you learned from your journeys in life?